0 - 33 weeks

So, we are going to back track a bit.  These next few posts are mainly for me.  They are to help me remember all the little and big things that happened during my pregnancy, so that, when I do this again, I won't go crazy on the internet checking my symptoms...I will just think, "oh, that happened last time".  When I say all the things I mean ALL the things, the good, the bad, and the gross.  Lots of lady talk in this one Dad.

In the beginning, the end of January to be exact, I was cramping and cramping and cramping, and my period would not come.  It had been over a week, and my boobs were very sore which was not typical for me as I usually have zero PMS symptoms because I only got periods every couple of months (and I only had them that often because of Dr. Annie, which is a whole other post).  I was talking with Courtney at work, and her exact words were "stranger things have happened," so at her push (thanks goodness she did!) I went and bought a home test, took it when I got home, and there were those famous two pink lines!

Craziness!  No way!  Is this real!?!  Those were my main thoughts.  I told Jonathan (in no cute or special way...I should have, but my mind was very preoccupied), and then the next morning I called the doctor and then went in that day for an ultrasound.  Being that my last period was at the end of November and the fact that they were always irregular, they wanted to check me a few times in a row to gage the growth to get a due date.  At my first ultrasound, there was nothing to see, but my blood work looked good, so I tried to stay positive.  Seeing nothing on that little screen can be discouraging, but they reassured me that I was very early (maybe 4 weeks), so they made me an appointment for two weeks later.  At this appointment there was a sac (!!) and on that sac a tiny little circle that flickered.  There is was, for the first time, Mac's little heart just a beating.  It was surreal that something that small and so new could have a heartbeat.  They estimated me at 6 weeks.  Then two more weeks later Jonathan and I went in, and there he was, my little gummy bear with his heart beating away.  The estimated me at 8 weeks and gave me 10/5 as my official due date.  I could not believe how much the tiny circle had changed in just two short weeks, but there he was, looking like a little baby already!  The doc was comfortable with my progression, so from there I went to my monthly appointments, but first, I had to be prescribed progesterone because mine was a little low, and I continued to take one pill twice a day until 12 weeks.

My main symptoms in the first trimester were nausea, fatigue, and hip pain.  I was crazy tired.  Not only was I tired just because I was pregnant, the progesterone quadrupled that tiredness, AND it was tax season.  So here I am, hardly able to keep my eyes open, nauseous every morning, and working 50-60 hour weeks.  Fun, lots of fun, but no amount of unpleasant symptoms could put me in bad spirits because I was having a baby!  Not even the hip pain…oh, the hip pain.  At about 10 weeks or so, I started having intense hip pain.  I couldn’t sleep, and I couldn’t get comfortable.  No matter what I tried, my hips just ached and ached.  I researched pregnancy pillows, and decided on the Snoggle.  And that was one of the best purchases I had ever made!  It wasn’t complete relief, but I could finally sleep.  And that thing went with me everywhere (Charlotte, Illinois, etc)…except New York because it wouldn’t fit in my luggage :)  That was pretty much it for the first trimester, but the main thing for me was just making it to that magic number…12 weeks.  For some reason, when you get to that point, you can breathe a little easier.  I never stopped worrying, but it was a little easier after the first trimester.  I also got to end the progesterone pills at 12 weeks, and (so I thought) my energy would increase (it definitely didn’t).  The second, however, is a different story.

This is the fun trimester.  I started to look pregnant at the very beginning, but I wasn’t so large yet that I was uncomfortable.  I tried on my first maternity clothes at about 16 ½ weeks, and my first thought was…why did I not start wearing these 6 weeks ago?!?!  I started feeling little movements that I finally figured out were kicks, and that was amazing.  From the very first kick to the day of delivery, feeling him move in there was wonderful every single time.  There is an indescribable amount of joy every time you feel those little...or big :)...movements.  It never, ever gets old.   Throughout this trimester, the kicks got bigger and bigger to where I could see the movement, and I would just sit and stare at my stomach ALL the time…I loved it!!  At about 20 weeks Jonathan felt his first kick, and his eyes lit up!  At about 21 ½ weeks I saw my actually belly jump for the first time.  My monthly appointments were going well, and I loved going so I could hear the heartbeat!  I did have a time where I had some green discharge at about 5 months…ewww right?  I, of course, thought the worse…my plug!...but it was actually just a bacteria infection that I took an antibiotic for, and I had to repeat this same thing about 6 weeks later.  I had the glucose test and passed, but I didn’t eat as soon as I should of, and I crashed hard afterwards…but it was nothing a little food couldn’t fix.  I called the doctor often.  Pretty much every time I had a question.  I was not shy about that at all…and I was not googling for answers because that just sends me to the worst possible conclusion.  During this trimester, I also flew to New York with no problems and had a fantastic time at my brother-in-law’s wedding.  I did Pilates until the end of this trimester, and I generally felt pretty good.  Tired, but good. 

The third trimester was also fun, but towards the end…I was pretty uncomfortable.  This trimester was also very eventful.  More so than I would have liked, but it all worked out for the best!  This is when I started to lessen my activities.  I stopped Pilates, but I continued to walk with Hank as much as I could, but some days were just too hot.  It was the hottest summer, and I was 30 pounds heavier.  Not the most comfortable of seasons for me :)  My appointments were again going well.  I was gaining about a pound a week, and measuring just the right amount of inches.  I continued to watch my belly grow and the movements inside become more and more noticeable on the outside!  However, at about 33 weeks, I noticed some cramping.  I had an appointment and mentioned it to my doctor.  She told me to call if it didn’t quit or got worse.  Well, that night it actually kept me up, so I called the doctor and went in.  This is where I will pick up with the next post…            

Four Months :)

Where does the time go?  You are four months old already, and you are becoming a little man right before my very eyes J  This month marked mama’s return to work and you starting daycare.  You have adapted wonderfully.  When I take you in the morning, I unpack your little bag and then cuddle and hold you until you fall asleep so I still get to put you down for your first nap.  I hate leaving you everyday, but you don’t seem to mind.  You get to play with all the other kids, swing in the swing, bounce in the chair, and play with all the different activity mats.  They have way more to do than we have at home!  When I pick you up, you are usually napping in one of the many bouncy seats, and are just as content as you can be.  All the teachers talk about how good you are, how little you are, how big and beautiful your eyes are, and how crazy your hair is!!

Now that you are in daycare, you eat from a bottle three times a day, and you take your bottle like a champ!  You eat much more than one would think someone of your size would (12 lbs 4 oz, 25 inches).  You take 6 oz at every feeding!  So, needless to say, we burned through my frozen milk pretty fast.  I can’t quite keep up with you while pumping, so you get the occasional formula bottle…no big deal, you like it just as much as the other. 

You have become much more active this month.  Your new thing is little mini back bends.  While you are on your back, you love to put your feet down and lift up your butt into a half back bend.  You love to stand, kick, and just wiggle around in general.  Your talking has even changed.  You make new sounds all the time, and watching you grow and change is fantastic!  We tried cereal for the first time, and you seemed to neither like it or dislike it.  It confused you more than anything.  I think you got some to go in to your belly, but the majority of it was on your bib.  It is hard to feed a baby a liquid by spoon, so we will just keep working on it.    

We have much more of a routine these days since I am back to work, and you have even started sleeping through the night some nights!  Your typical time is 10-5, pretty early, but way better than getting up in the middle of the night J  You even did 10:30-6:30 this week!  So, I can see the sleep slowly improving.  Hooray!! 

Your favorite things are eating, eating, and eating – still #1, and as I have said before, you would eat all day if I let you.  Your pacifier is number two, and a close third is anytime you can lay on your back or stand, and kick, kick, kick.  You also love to look at yourself in the mirror, chat in the mornings, and smile J  One of my new favorite things is a new eating habit you have started.  You will be nursing, nursing, nursing, then you will stop, look up at me, give me a huge smile, then dive back down, eat, eat, eat, then stop, look up at me, show me that beautiful grin, and then repeat.  It is the cutest, sweetest thing ever!  I love, love, love it!

Every day is a blessing, and you have made me and your daddy the happiest we could be.  We love you little buddy!

Lots of Love,

Mama

So, about breastfeeding...

So…breastfeeding…ummm, how to say this nicely…SUCKS (to start)!  And I feel like it is the one thing that no one talks about when you are pregnant.  You hear all about delivery stories, pregnant stories, baby stories, but no breastfeeding stories.  

The first two days were okay because I was in the hospital and had help.  I saw a lactation lady (please do this if you have the chance), and she said my little guy did great.  I got this, no problem, this is a piece of cake.  Then, I got home, and Mac decided to not sleep all day like he did in the hospital.  The first two weeks were miserable.  Not only was I one big raging hormone, I basically felt like I had to nurse 24 hours a day…read that again…24 hours a day!  That is exactly what it felt like.

I didn’t use a pacifier for the first two weeks because of nipple confusion, so I was the pacifier.  He cried (I would cry), then to the boob.  He was hungry, to the boob.  Basically any other reason, to the boob.  I felt like I was tied down.  I was never going to be able to leave the house again!  I was nursing every two hours, but he took almost an hour to eat because of all the falling asleep, so I started nursing, an hour later finished nursing, then in about 45 minutes to an hour later, I started nursing again.  Not horrible right, but then came the evenings and cluster feeding.  Then it really was constant.  He would probably be off for about twenty minutes, then crying, and back on again.  And I am supposed to start building my supply by pumping…when exactly!?! 

I thought I had supply issues, I thought he had latching issues, I thought everything.  Then I called the lactation consultants at Northside (these women are wonderful!!), and she told me everything I was experiencing was normal.  Really?  Normal?  Why did no one tell me this?!?  I called Beth (sister-in-law), and she confirmed that it was in fact normal…and then gave me the most used and most useful pregnancy advice...“It will get better”  And boy did it ever!

In order to keep myself from going crazy, I started giving myself goals.  I will solely breast feed until 4 weeks…4 weeks came, and it was easier.  I will solely breastfeed until 8 weeks…8 weeks came and went.  Now, we have reached 16 weeks, and I am still doing it.  And guess what, I LOVE it.  No joke, love it J  It is our quiet time together.  A time when I have him all to myself.  When he looks up at me while he is eating, with those big beautiful eyes, I just melt.  If he is ever crying and I can't get him to settle down (like he was after his four month shots...nothing worked, the pacifier, rocking him, waking him, nothing) I just nurse him and within seconds he is calm and quiet.  I have never been unable to console my baby, and that is a good feeling.  We had a horrible case of the stomach bug in our house, and while me and Jonathan were laid up in bed for 24 hours (on different days), the little man never even showed the first sign (I continued to feed him through my sickness), and I think this is just another good thing about sticking with breastfeeding.  He was getting the antibodies in the milk, and his body was building the defense before he even had the chance to catch the bug.  When it came to being out and about, I stopped stressing about how I was going to feed him, and now, if it is time to eat, I feed him no matter where or when.  I pull out my nursing cover, and we do what we need to do.  No heating necessary!  And, since I have stopped worrying about it, it has only gotten easier and more enjoyable.  Also, did I mention the ridiculous amounts of money that it has saved me.  I have only purchased two of the smallest cans of formula in four months, and my second can is still over half full.  Some people would have to buy two of those cans per week!!  So, I will have only spent about $30 on formula in probably 20-22 weeks!  You can't beat free food :)

I now pump at work three times a day to try and keep him just on my milk, but, here in the near future, he will probably be on one formula bottle a day as I can’t keep up with him (he has quite the appetite)…and that is okay because he will still nurse or get breast milk in a bottle at every other feeding.  Now, I actually dread the day that I am all dried up.  Talk about a change of heart…from complete anxiety to no problem at all!  For me, the pros far outweighed the cons, and it is easier for much longer than it is difficult.  If you can get through the first month of breastfeeding, you can get through anything and will be so glad you did!

Three Months!

Well, it is official.  You are no longer considered a newborn.  I can not believe it has already been 3 whole months.  I am so glad I got to stay home with you this entire time because you have been a different baby this past month.  We finally got a schedule down, and I could count on 3 hours, play time, and regular naps.  Mama was actually able to do things around the house!  We became much more mobile this past month also.  You have probably seen the inside of Target many more times than you have cared to :) 

This past month you have grown and changed more than any other.  You entertain yourself sometimes, and notice things is a whole new way.  You notice when I leave the room, you watch me walk around, you can even see my funny faces from far away!  You smile constantly, and you are generally a very happy baby.  You eat and play, and then at about an hour and a half in you get a little fussy which means it is time for the rocking chair...then it is off to sleep for about an hour and a half...sometimes less, but you usually are happy to play until the next time to eat.  You could almost set a clock to your schedule these days, and that has helped mama tremendously!   If only I would have know at week one what I know now!  How much easier things would have been, but you live and learn, and I have learned a lot :)

Your favorite things have changed somewhat now. You now love your toys!  Well, basically anything that hangs over your head that you can swing your arms at :)  You got a new mobile for Christmas from your Great Aunt Ronnie and Great Uncle Max, and you are obsessed!  I turn it on, and you just stare and kick and talk and squeal...it makes you as happy as can be.  You also love your activity mat because you can lay on your back and hit the little creatures that hang down.  You still love your car rides, and still number one and two are eating and that pacifier!  You eat a little quicker these days, but you still like to eat about every three hours around the clock, so we are still working on the sleep thing.  You now sleep on your belly, and you like that much better.  You put yourself to sleep much easier that way!

Some physical changes are that you are GROWING!  You are becoming mama's big boy!  You are now in three month clothes, and you seem to get longer everyday :)  Another change is you are starting to lose lots of your hair, but don't worry, so are mama and daddy.  Mama's because of hormones, and Daddy's because of...genetics...so we will all just be a big hair losing family together. 

Some big firsts this month were Christmas!, daycare, and formula.  You had your first ever Christmas which also means your first ever Barden Bowling Bonanza!  You slept almost the entire time you were at the bowling alley, and everyone just passed you around :)  You got to visit with all kinds of family, and you got some super cute clothes.  Santa brought you an outfit too!  You also had you first taste of formula at 11 weeks, and you couldn't of cared less.  You either couldn't tell the difference, or didn't care.  I think you will eat anything, so probably the latter.  We give you a little at night sometimes, and daddy uses it to feed you in the middle of the night when he is on duty, and you take it just fine.  Lastly, is daycare.  This is both good and bad.  Good because you get to meet all kinds of new folks and play with them all day, sad because it means mama is going back to work.  I will miss you like crazy!  What I will miss most is our hang out time after your first morning feeding.  It is usually around eight or nine o'clock, and you are just so happy and talkative.  You are full of smiles, and it is the perfect way to start the day.  I will miss rocking you to sleep at nap times, and watching you eat all big eyed :)  I will mss cuddling with you in the morning, and playing with you in the afternoon.  I will even miss changing all those diapers.  You have had two practice days, and you did well.  You have a hard time sleeping there, but I am sure that will improve with time.  Truthfully, this transition will probably be harder for mama than for you.  I will probably cry much more in that first week than you will becuase I will be painfully missing my little buddy...

I love you junior, and I look forward to all the changes in store this next month and those after.  You amaze me every day, and I am so proud to be your mama.